“The goal is the orgasm of football. Like the orgasm, the goal is becoming ever less frequent in modern life.”

So wrote the great Uruguayan journalist and football fan Eduardo Galeano in 1995 in my personal favourite football book, Football In Sun And Shadow (in fact it’s one of my favourite books full stop, which is saying something because I read a lot). It would have seemed an odd thing for an English fan to read back then, with the Premiership in its heyday, matches finishing 4-3 seeming almost commonplace, and everyone aware that England had the best league in the world. This season, however, it suddenly seems very relevant indeed. Where have all the goals gone? This season’s Premiership has so far seen just 2.44 per game. Serie A, that famously boring league in which the 0-0 draw reigns supreme, is now among Europe’s highest scoring leagues, with 2.49 goals per game. The Dutch Eredivisie is our continent’s place of sanctuary for the goal hungry right now, though, with 2.99 goals in each match.

Now you’re probably wondering what on earth such dull statistics on various European leagues have to do with the Argentinean first division. The answer is that in the two weeks since you last heard from me, there’s been a virtual orgy of goalscoring down on the bank of the Rio de la Plata. This weekend was impressive enough, with 29 goals knocked in over ten matches (2.9 per game for those whose maths doesn’t stretch to inserting a decimal place), but the third round matches saw no fewer than 33 (3.3 per match). Among those was a halfway-line strike from the ever nutty Martín Palermo. That 33-goal weekend, incidentally, came in the middle of a heatwave which saw Buenos Aires basking in temperatures upwards of 37 Celsius. Perhaps they could teach our national side something about playing in the heat.

The weather’s not been the only thing under high pressure of late (that was dreadful, sorry). In Avellaneda, all’s not well, and it’s the coaches who are bearing the brunt of it. Avellaneda’s clubs are two of Argentina’s ‘Big Five’. After the most recent round of matches - albeit only four rounds in - they occupy two of the bottom four spots in the league. Independiente, whose Doble Visera ground - currently closed for renovation - once hosted the finest team in the Americas, winning a record number of Copa Libertadores, are doing poorly, but much of the attention has been focused on Racing.

On Friday night, Racing managed the spectacular feat of losing at home to Newell’s, who’d previously not won in 14 matches, and played nearly the whole of the second half with ten men. Racing manager Reinaldo ‘Mostaza’ Merlo has been in hot water for some time over his relationship - or lack of it - with his squad. Francisco Maciel was first suspended by the manager and has now been released by the club following ‘anonymous’ comments to the press in which he gave his opinions on Merlo’s tactics. He may have had a point, because said tactics are essentially pretty defensive. As Racing showed in the third round of matches, when they scored twice against River at the Monumental, they’re improving going forward. But as they showed in the same game, when River scored four and might have got into double figures but for wasteful finishing, they’re dreadful at the back.

Merlo’s got previous for this, as well. During his most recent spell in charge of River, a couple of years ago, he fell out with the first-team squad, among them Marcelo Gallardo, first-choice playmaker at the time. He took such a strong dislike to Diego Galván that he sent him out on a long-term loan - which culminated in Galván playing a key role in Estudiantes’ title-winning campaign in this season’s Apertura. Galván is now back with River, and playing like he’s never been away. Merlo, meanwhile, continues trying to pretend everything’s fine with the determination of the Black Knight trying to make out it’s only a flesh wound.

Independiente boss - and scorer of the winner in the 1986 World Cup final - Jorge Burruchaga isn’t getting quite so much bother from the press, possibly because Independiente’s fans have, of late, become used to having an impressive pre-season and failing to live up to it once the real action gets going. However, Burru has said he has no great worries for his side’s long-term future, and won’t be resigning even if they lose their next match. Racing’s fans may be able to take some small comfort from that statement.

If big clubs are underperforming, the flipside is small sides doing well. Two of the big boys - River and San Lorenzo - are up there, but the other two names, Argentinos Juniors in third, having just beaten River on Sunday, and Arsenal in pole position as the only side with a 100% record, are more surprising. Arsenal only celebrated their 50th anniversary this January, but are enjoying a mightily impressive opening to the campaign and underlined their intentions by taking Ricardo La Volpe’s Vélez to the cleaners 3-1 on Saturday. In a high-scoring campaign, the highest scorers of the lot are at the top, and after 40 games played, only one has finished goalless. Long may the scoring, and the unexpected results, continue...

2nd - 4th March:

Colón de Santa Fé 1-2 Gimnasia y Esgrima La Plata
Racing Club 0-1 Newell’s Old Boys
Banfield 2-1 Independiente
Belgrano de Córdoba 1-2 Estudiantes de La Plata
Arsenal de Sarandí 3-1 Vélez Sársfield
Boca Juniors 0-3 San Lorenzo de Almagro
Gimnasia y Esgrima de Jujuy 2-1 Godoy Cruz de Mendoza
Quilmes 1-0 Nueva Chicago
Rosario Central 2-3 Lanús
Argentinos Juniors 2-1 River Plate

Copa Libertadores

27th Feb:
Group 1

Banfield 4-1 El Nacional (Ecuador)

28th Feb:
Group 4

Vélez 1-1 Nacional (Uruguay)

1st March:
Group 7

Boca 1-0 Cienciano (Peru)

6th March:
Group 8

Gimnasia y Esgrima La Plata 3-2 Pasto (Columbia)