A common theme running through this column over the past few months seems to have been the subject of “competition”.

If football were to lose all its money, the top players were to disappear, the stadiums collapse and the tea lady throw her cups to the floor, there would still be interest for true fans.

If the competition disappears, the sport itself collapses.

So, with another season finally completed, it seems the right time to assess how football has developed over the past year - The School Report.

****

Name: Football
Age: too shy to give it away
Year: 2007

Over the past year, Football has strived to build on the good work it put in during last summer’s field trip to Germany. However, we feel that Football has often let itself down on occasions. We put much of this down to its friendship with Money, who we believe has been a rather distracting influence.

Premiership:

In the subject of Premiership, Football has shown signs of improvement throughout the year. It has appeared to have done good work in the area of competitiveness, having brought about the much sought after “two horse race for the title”. However, its final exam results seem to have belied much of this work, with the top five containing the same sides as the previous season and the bottom three filled by two of the promoted teams, a downturn on the previous season’s results.

Grade: B-

----

FA Cup:

In FA Cup, Football’s marks have seen quite a drop. It has produced a final exam where the clubs competing have suggested a lack of competitiveness. The questions themselves were answered in a boring and unimaginative way. Prior to this, it seems that little work has been put into “Cup shocks” with the results being altogether quite predictable. Poor attendance in class has been noted as well, which has been very disappointing, particularly in the lessons leading up to the final exam, which we feel should be lessons that nobody would want to miss.

Grade: D

----

League Cup:

In League Cup, Football has enjoyed improved results, which have been a pleasant surprise to the teaching staff. Whilst we have previously been critical of Football’s need to carry out too many “experiments” without producing satisfactory results in this subject, we have to acknowledge that the results of the “Arsenal Kids” experiment have in many ways invigorated Football’s love of this much maligned subject. This produced some very eye-catching results, and we feel that it was a brave choice to continue with this experiment into the final exam, one which perhaps could have been rewarded more.

Grade: A-

----

Champions League:

Champions League has often been the subject which Football has been most interest in, although this has sometimes resulted in some fairly unimaginative results due to the fear of failure. This year has once again found Football being dominated by his favoured classmates, “Money” and “Big Clubs”. It seems increasingly unlikely that Football will be able to make any new friends in this subject, unless it is prepared to become a bit less inclusive and follow the lead of school principal, Monsieur Platini.

Grade: C

----

Championship:

As was covered in our letter sent home to parents last week, Championship is a subject in which we feel Football is in grave danger of failing. It is vital that Football recognises that a status quo has developed very similar to that existing in the Premiership. We are increasingly concerned, once again, by the influence that Money is starting to have during classes on this subject. Money does not seem to be all that interested in the subject, not really turning up at many classes, yet is starting to have a disruptive effect all the same.

Grade: D

****

Inevitably, the financial gains to be made from the game are constricting its competitiveness still further. Whilst the Premiership has been probably more exciting than in recent years, it still masks the fact that many of the clubs are hemmed into pre-ordained finishing positions. The FA Cup continues to move further down this very same route, with the larger clubs becoming increasingly dominant at the top end of the competition and a lack of interest starting to develop as a result. Whilst it seems hard to imagine a Nottingham Forest coming from nowhere to challenge for the Premiership, it now seems equally implausible to imagine a Coventry City winning the FA Cup.

Yet there is, as there always can be, real optimism. The Premiership continues to host some of the most entertaining players in the world and is drawing larger audiences. It continues to produce football of real quality and is now also starting to produce football clubs which, from a purely selfish point of view, are becoming competitive in the Champions League. Ironically, given its recent past as the bastion of uncompetitive second elevens of the top teams, the League Cup is now starting to re-emerge as a viable competition. Further down the ladder, League One and League Two are as competitive as ever, with clubs ascending and descending with real velocity.

It hasn’t been a bad year, really.